It is called civilization

I am one of men. I am animal. Tamed, dressed and trained. Trained to be just another among all others. To stand in line and say “thank you” at what I pretend is faith, but what really is something prewritten by others and handed to me.

The animal that is human, the mammal, is dead inside me. Dead inside all of us. Shot down. Put to sleep by our mind. By what we refer to as "civilization." Unconscious consciousness. Instincts are no longer what drive us.

I am man. I am hollow shell and have lost the ability to feel the pleasure of instant gratification. The pleasure of reaching. Wanting. To feel the need for satisfaction of basic needs so raw and untamed it robs me of sleep at night and sense of calm at day. Hunger. Lust. Anger. It is all ignored or instantly treaded. What gnaws at my bones? What do I need, want, now that I am "civilized", without animal instinct?

I am shallow. I want to be beautiful. Maybe not beautiful as I perceive it, but as society tells me to be, to want. If I’m not, I hide in black, blending in. Being invisible. Uncomfortable in my own skin. Ashamed. Like no other animal, shame runs black through the veins of human.

I am the unfulfilled. I want for success, not for what makes me happy. I am programmed to want my success measured by everyone else and then think that this makes me happy. I should want to climb. To achieve. Never settle at second best. Never rest.

I am consumption. I want it all, and then some. I use and the throw away the rest. I consume all of the nature’s resources, and then I waste. I pollute with what is left. I am man killing mother earth. Using her. Abusing her. I am her worst creation, her black sheep. I am cockroach feeding in dark corners. Never resting. Never stopping.

I am a humble working bee. Stuck in a box watching the world turn as I work from dusk to dawn. I am enslaved, making money for another human – animal wanting more and more. I am robbed of self, and merely a drone for a queen I spit fuel on the fire that torch the blue sky and green forests.

I am rage. I am anger pulsing, fighting for faith and black gold in foregin contries. Killing long distanse so I not get blood on my hands. Killing child of men and their mothers because my enemy is coward like me and hides behind a shield of innocence. I am destroyer of happiness and life, belittleling the worth of a heartbeat. I am every bullet ever fired. I am the reaper harvesting what is not mine to take.

I am the thought that resides in the back of mankinds mind. “I think, and therefore I am” better than all other living thing. I am here to govern all of earth as I see fit. I am not grateful. Not merciful.

I am men. Beast of men.